"How to Land Your kid in Therapy"

            People today are given a false sense of security when they are young that leads to more people in therapy as adults.  Parents have been much easier on their kids today giving them the life they always wanted, but sometimes are not able to let their kids fail, which gives their kids a false sense of security.  In “How to Land Your Kid in Therapy,” Lori Gottlieb discusses how parents today baby their children which causes problems with self esteem somewhere down the line.  Children are rewarded today for doing nothing, such as participation trophies in sports.  Children that are babied early on in life will not know how to deal with failure later on in life.

            As a referee for the past three years of my life I have first hand seen parents be overprotective and out of control.  I almost had to throw a parent out of a basketball game of six and seven year olds for being out of control.  Parents today have become way to controlling and see their kids in a light where they could never do anything wrong.  Rules have even changed dramatically in the past ten years when I went through the different sports programs for equality.  For example, in basketball our program director encourages us as refs to make sure that everyone has a chance to guard the best or tallest player so that they do not feel left out.  This rule comes from parents that feel their son is good enough to guard anyone on the court, when it can be completely demoralizing to a child if they just cannot stop the opposing player.  Also parents can get too involved with the coaches.  Most high school coaches now have to keep parents out of the gym so that they can coach the team their way and not be constantly criticized by parents.  Parents gotten way out of control when it comes to sports and need to let their son’s coaches and the refs take care of their children during the game.

            Parents also get out of control when it comes to school.  Whenever something goes wrong in school, some children have their parents come in and talk to the teacher, even in high school, about the problem, rather than learning how to deal with it themselves.  While parents need to stick up for their kids while they are younger, there comes a point in time when the child needs to learn how to deal with his own problems in school whether it is about grades or behavior.  Children should be able to deal with their own school problems on their own around junior high.  Also, with regards to in school bullying, some schools have implemented programs, like my grade school, where they hinder a child from knowing what is acceptable outside of school.  Schools nowadays are trying to protect people from being bullied rather than teaching them how to deal with it.  Parents now are trying to protect their children from problems rather than teaching them how to deal with their problems. 

            While there are parents that do baby their kids, there are still parents that know where to draw the line when it comes to protecting their kids or spoiling them my parents being one of those parents.  They taught me how to deal with situations in life rather than protecting me from them as a child.  Parents in this generation are starting to try and protect their kids from making the same mistakes, rather than teaching them, which leads to lower self esteem and can eventually land their kids in therapy. 

David Foster Wallace's "Kenyon Commencement Speech"

            People today can be very self-centered and set in their ways.  In David Foster Wallace’s “Kenyon Commencement Speech,” he challenges his audience to change their way of thinking.  He forces people to think about how the other person’s day is going, rather than just think about themselves.  Wallace hints at the age old saying that talks about walking a day in the other person’s shoes before getting to know them.  It was very interesting to hear this idea about slowing down and thinking about others before themselves.  Most people today do not stop and take the time to do this, myself included, because we claim that we, “don’t have time.”  He says that if you learn how to think, then everyday life can become easier.  It would help people slow down and not stress out so much about the little things in life.  I had never thought about things that way and it really opened my eyes to what learning to think really meant. 

I have always been told that the Jesuits teach people to think, rather than just teaching them facts and never fully understood what that meant.  Going to a Jesuit High School for four years before choosing to come here for college, I was told, “We are not just teaching you knowledge, but how to think, to better prepare you for college.”  This never really made any sense to me.  We had strict rules for everything we did academically and everything in general, not giving much opportunity to think for ourselves.  After listening to this speech it has helped me realize how to actually “think.”  Every day we are faced with challenges that need to be dealt with in different ways, and some are more difficult than others.  I was not able to realize that in High School the teachers were teaching us how too think by changing up the very strict guidelines to give us different ways to do things.

            On one random day during our senior year, we took a day off to watch a movie about suicide.  It was not just a documentary, but more of a life story where this guy becomes very popular and neglects his best friend and his best friend becomes depressed and commits suicide in front of the whole school.  He was torn apart, because he could have done something about it earlier on if he just took the time out of his day to spend time with his best friend that he neglected all throughout high school.  Later on in the movie he ends up saving another kid from committing suicide just by talking to him and making him feel important.  He is able to forget about society’s perception of him being popular and do what David Foster Wallace is challenging us to do. 

            Thinking outside of a comfort zone is not easy for anyone.  It takes guts and extreme self-control.  David Foster Wallace is challenging the graduates to go out in the world and think in a different way than most people.  He challenges them to think about the kind of day that the other person is having rather than just thinking about how bad their day is.  This speech was really interesting and it opened my eyes on how to think, and start thinking of others first before myself.

David Sedaris's "Old Faithful"

            Relationships can become boring at times, but that is not always a bad thing.    In “Old Faithful” by David Sedaris, Sedaris talks about how sometimes relationships that are not always exciting, can still be a good relationship in a very different way.  He uses many examples where many people at first glance will say there is no way that it could be relatable, because the examples and images he uses can cause the reader to become uncomfortable.  However, if the reader takes some time to look at the deeper meaning of the themes presented, they find that they can relate well.  Sedaris uses the boil to represent how much Hugh and the main character care about each other.  When Hugh willingly offers to “lance” off the boil, he is showing that he cares enough about the main character that he will pop a boil on his but because he is in a lot of pain.  It is not always about how fun or exciting that a relationship is but more about how much they care about each other.

            This story, while being very graphic and bizarre, had a very relatable deeper meaning.  Sometimes, in a relationship, things can seem boring to an outsider, but those are sometimes the moments that are missed the most while apart from each other.  With my girlfriend, some of the times I miss the most are when we are just with each other, whether it be sitting on her couch in the basement with my arm around her while watching a movie, or we are just laying down next to each other taking a nap.  Sometimes we end up spending hours on the phone not saying too much but not wanting to stop talking to each other.  David Sedaris shows that even if a relationship seems boring on the outside, the two people in the relationship can still be very happy. 

            When a relationship becomes boring at parts, it can sometimes cloud the deep love that a couple has for one another.  The main character felt that the relationship was growing boring and started to question the relationship when Hugh shows his love and devotion by offering to do something nasty, by popping his boil.  David Sedaris uses a very different approach that people are used to.  He uses very graphic images and themes that on the surface make people uncomfortable, but in the end conveys a deeper meaning that is very relatable. 

Mike Birbiglia's "Error at First Base"

The teenage years in one’s life can be a very difficult time filled with immense amounts of confusion.  In Mike Birbiglia’s “Error at First Base,” he talks about his first kiss while putting a humorous spin on it.  It is extremely amusing because it is very relatable.  He talks about his failed attempt at the amusement park after he got sick.  However, then he meets a girl named Sonya at a high school dance and kisses her during a slow song.  He mentioned that the people in the group that had not kissed a girl were growing smaller and smaller by the day.  Then he started to become embarrassed after he found out that Sonya thought he was a bad kisser, but was comforted by a fellow bad kisser.  I was one of the people in the group that had not had their first kiss yet till very late too.  I was even later.  It was not until around junior year homecoming dance.  It was very easy to relate to the different pressures that Birbiglia faced with having his first kiss.  While I did not have an embarrassing story like vomiting in front of a girl that I was trying to kiss, I was able to relate to it like many others are.  Mike Birbiglia takes an awkward moment in a teenager’s life and he makes it into something that everyone can relate to, while making it funny to address the stresses of being a teenager.

Growing up I was one of the last people to get my first kiss.  I was not quite like Birbiglia, but I had just never kissed a girl.  I went to an all guys school for high school, but there were a bunch of people that knew me there so I could not lie about having my first kiss already.  I was made fun of for a little while but then everyone forgot about it.  It took me so long to finally get my first kiss because there were times when I was not even trying because I kept forgetting that it was something that literally everyone had done before me.  It took me until my junior year homecoming until I kissed a girl.  It can sometimes be difficult to fit-in in high school and many teens struggle with it.  Mike Birbiglia shows the audience how funny the things we do in high school are, while conveying a deeper message in the fact that you are not alone in high school many people are struggling with the same things that you are.

Social status is still big in high school, but he conveys an idea that just being confident will allow you to fit in and give other people an opportunity to show how they are just like you.  When he said he was a just a bad kisser, someone was able sympathize with him and being a bad kisser.  This gave him support and showed him that other people struggle with the same things that he does.  While social status is a big thing while you are a teenager, Birbiglia shows that once you grow up it will not matter how you were viewed or what your social status was when you were in high school.

Kissing for the first time can create many stories that are talked out many years later.  It creates many awkward situations, but it can also cause you to grow up once you get past the awkwardness and it just becomes a funny story.  Once you get past all the pressures of high school and being a teenager you start to realize that certain things you have done earlier in life are just funny.  Mike Birbiglia is able to take an embarrassing story of himself, make it funny, and show people that it really does not matter how you were viewed when you were a teenager.